"Pirates are meant to be hung"

Today I drove my brand new car up to Sanford to see Jenny! It's been a lonnng time since I've driven to her house.  It's hard to get lost in Sanford, but even so I managed to take the wrong turns in her little neighborhood.  Good thing my memory is so wonderful despite being crammed chock full of drugs (not the illegal kind, more like the ones named dexamethasone and prednisone and other long names I can't ever remember) and orthotics/prosthetics (study topics of the day), that I was able to turn myself around and find her house.  As I was turning in, two baby deer jumped out in front of my car and ran into her yard. They were very cute and stuck around for a while.  Jenny and her grandma and I watched from a window, and they were warily watching us until JD's dad scared them away while filling the bird feeders!!

We had a wonderful video chat with  Theresa, and got the virtual grand tour of her place in Sweden.  Then we had a quick lunch with her family before heading out to see The Expendables.  Of course, we went to a matinee in Sanford which meant we were 2 of a total of 6 people in the theater.  Kinda impressive for a Saturday's afternoon in Sanford actually!  The movie was what I expected. Excellent cast, with cameos of Bruce Willis and the Governator.  Wonderful one liners and the perfect opening with pirates!! 

"What the hell's he doing?" - Stallone

"Hanging a pirate" - Statham

"Don't be ridiculous. Gunnar! What are you doing?" - Stallone

"hanging a pirate!!!" 

"That's seriously demented" - Stallone

"Pirates are meant to be hung" - Gunnar

It was what you would expect, but not the "guy fest" movie I expected. Ok so usually "guy fest" could mean two things. For us ladies, it would mean lots of hot guys doing hot things (sweating a lot, riding motorcycles, fighting, etc etc), most often without their shirts. (True for  Expendables, except sadly there was too much shirt-wearing going on).  OR it could mean what I call your typical action, "guy's guy" movie or as T likes to say a "dude's dude", which means Crank. If you haven't seen Crank, well it's an experience.  Basically lots of action, lots of 'dudes' getting pissed, a completely absurd unrealistic ridiculous plot, drug wars/gangs, bad acting, fighting, lots of naked women and sex (often in public). (Also true of Expendables, except minus naked women and sex, not even a make-out session!).  

So on the hot guy scale, it gets a high rating, maybe an 8 (JD and I concurred the cast would've benefited from Daniel Craig and I would've liked a bit more of Bruce Willis). Negative points for the amount of shirt wearing. I mean this is the most shirtlessness you get (besides Stallone getting his tattoo)

(courtesy of IMDB)

do you see? do you see the amount of shirtlessness??? SEEEE?! it's right there... just in the corner... cover your eyes kids, you almost see some abs!!

Also negative points for the lack of any guy-girl action. I mean this movie was rated G on the "action" scale, which is just ABSURD for this kind of movie. Lots of blood, think kill bill style with the losing of body parts and blood flying through the air, minus the artisticality (no not a real word) of Tarantino.  The last fight scene went on way too long, although there were some seriously fun explosion scenes and big guns. Otherwise I enjoyed the cast, the multiple one-liners, and in general the plot was good! Definitely missing key aspects of the true action movie though.  I enjoyed seeing lots of things blow up on the big screen.....

So we get back to the car and close the doors and we are ATTACKED BY A GIANT BUG, literally buzzing around by my ear and JD saw it yelled bloody murder.  Not your average fly. Oh no it looked like a giant furry wasp creature! I'm usually pretty good with bees, i just try to leave them alone so they won't bug me. I'll startle like anyone, but usually ok.  This freaking thing resulted in JD and I SCREECHING and i just covered my head and froze and yelled at jenny to open the door!!! So we jump out of the car, all the while flailing around and yelling WTF IS THAT?! (the adrenaline is really pumping now) And the bug lands on the windshield. This thing has a tail/stinger(??) at least 2 inches long, and an evil buggy face, and it looks like it is covered in fur! (tried to find a photo online but nothing does it justice) JD grabs a pen from my purse and tries to throw it (no reaction), pokes it (no reaction). The bug is just taking it and NOT MOVING AN INCH.  It  was hijacking my car. So i took the SC map, and poked at it, and no reaction, so i finally got it to grab on to the map and as soon as I go to put it outside the car, it flies to the other side (with us screeching as soon as it starts flying of course)! So I go to the other side, and poke again and it flies and we once again scream bloody murder! QUICK GET IN! And we quickly closed the door and drove off! It was awwwwful.  I'm sure all the people in Sanford thought we were idiot girls. But this thing was at LEAST 2 inches long, and covered in fur, and looked stingy. yuck. 

A very eventful, adrenaline filled day!!  Then I came home, reluctantly (frustratingly) studied, then did some more repacking while watching The Alamo with my dad. Didn't watch the end though (I mean seriously, we all know how it ends....)  

this time next week I will be in St Louis and well on my way to Colorado!!!