10,000 hours of practice

Today was my first full week of real life work.  I love the clinic I'm in, the people are wonderful, the mentors are amazingly brilliant, and i've learned a lot in just the 4 days I've been there (yes my week is 4 days, very long, full days... and i'm looking forward to my 3 day weekend). That all being said, I find myself battling the same old fears - am I really ready for this? do I really know enough? Will I ever feel like I know enough?

One of my bosses/mentors said that it takes at least one to two years to be comfortable in this. Part of the challenge is the diversity each individual brings, and the complexity of the human body (and mind).  But that's also why this job is so wonderful, so many different people and characters, so many different challenges. Each day, or even each hour, is a completely different story.

But I'm trying to conquer this fear that's been dogging me the past 3 years - what if I totally blow it, what if I've just fooled everyone into thinking I know what I'm doing, why do I feel half the time like I know nothing, and the other half that I'm almost getting it? It's all wrapped up in the reason I decided to do this, the complexity, the problem solving, the challenges... but I think my nervousness is holding me back (same old story x3 years, as every CI of mine knows)...The good news is apparently I'm up to par for a new grad...so they tell me, but as with anything, some days are better than others. Today was not my forte.

As another PT friend of mine quoted... "to be an expert at any one thing, you need at least 10,000 hours of practice" - Malcolm Gladwell. One of the bosses said that of course I can't feel (insert ligament/bone/muscle/other body structure here) now, but after 1,000 patients I'll be able to feel it on everyone. I hate guessing....

It's so frustrating being "the newbie." The good news is that I don't have a full schedule, they are taking the time to teach and demonstrate and let me practice mobilizations and taping. All the clinic staff are willing to let me practice on them, and all with variations of problems of their own.  I kinda wish there wasn't so much time in between my last clinic and this one, as I feel like I've lost a lot of info (and I'm sure cramming things into my head for boards didn't help, although you think it would).  Once again, my mentors said that they teach us in school and test us just enough so we won't kill anyone, then send us on our way. There's so much more to this....

 The bad news is I'm trying so hard to not mess up, that I'm afraid to do anything and therefore missing things and can't even manage a simple low back pain eval (insert evil laughter here... aka as simple as a spine can get). And I guess it doesn't help that I'm still trying to get used to the documentation, which in the long run will most likely be a time saver, but right now... ugh. The good news is, in a few weeks hopefully I will know a ton more, and feel at least semi-comfortable with this stage I'm in. Also doubly good news is that I've got really great people to learn from... I just hope I don't disappoint them!

Hopefully next week will go better (as they promise me every week will get easier). Right now, hopefully I can get my body accustomed to the altitude and time out here. And maybe not be so exhausted after my 10 hour work day (which is really 11 cause I spend my whole lunch on documentation... hoorah for being a new grad). I'm looking forward to sleeping lots this weekend, finally getting furniture and getting unpacked, and maybe going on a hike or two.

Oh! Today on the way to work, I noticed there is snow on the tops of the mountains!!! So exciting. We were all talking about the snow and skiing and how excited we are all about winter! Hoorah Colorado.